The truth behind dating app fatigue with college students

According to a 2022 study done by the Pew Research Center, one in 10 adults in committed relationships found their significant other on a dating app or website. The numbers inflate even further when singling out lesbian, gay and bisexual couples with almost a quarter of those surveyed having found relationships on the apps. 

In short, that’s a lot of people. 

Being on a college campus, it seems like everyone is currently on, or has been on a dating app like Tinder or Hinge. The Pew Research Center study shows a very split opinion on the merits of these dating apps with just over half of the 6,034 people surveyed having a somewhat positive or very positive experience and just under half having the reverse. But what does the anecdotal evidence suggest? 

Sam Grella, a SUNY ESF student, has had her fair share of Tinder tales. She remarked on the conveyer belt style of dating that apps like Tinder provide. 

“While we were finishing our conversation in his car, he asked me if I had a good time but called me ‘Hope’ instead of Sam. I left the car immediately,” said Grella while recounting a Tinder experience she had. 

The seemingly infinite “options” people have on dating apps and the gamified nature of them can often lead to serial dating and lack of meaningful connections. These apps often encourage superficiality, as it’s impossible to cram your entire personality into a dating profile. 

According to a study put forward by the London School of Economics, apps like Tinder operate almost like dating slot machines where users expect the reward, a match, at unexpected intervals, potentially leading to a similar addiction. 

“There’s always someone one swipe away, so you can start to feel disposable,” said Grella. 

Grella wasn’t alone in this. Brielle, a student at Syracuse University, has downloaded and deleted dating apps several times due to frustration with the lack of connection. 

“Sometimes, you’ll have a conversation going and then it just goes cold after a few messages,” said Brielle thinking back to her days on Tinder.

It wasn’t just the onslaught of potential matches that was overwhelming for Brielle but also the crude behavior that online forums can facilitate. From behind a screen, it’s much easier to say something to someone that you would never even think about doing in person.

“As a woman who has done the online dating thing, I am horrified at how perverted men can be. I can’t imagine that a man would walk up to me in [a] Target and say ‘sit on my face’ but most men on Tinder love those lines. It’s just gross and dehumanizing,” said Brielle. 

Brielle said that many of her friends had similar experiences with people on the apps, “most people aren’t looking for a meaningful connection, they’re just looking for a hookup.” 

It isn’t all doom and gloom though. In a sea of humans on a college campus, Brielle said that dating apps do make it easier for her to feel confident reaching out to people she may not encounter much on campus. 

“I think it’s a good way to find people that may be your type on a large college campus that you may not bump into on the way to class,” said Brielle. 

In terms of security, Brielle said she feels safer when meeting and talking to strangers because of dating apps.

“It’s a little easier in the college environment to engage with online dating because you can verify who people are and the mutual friends you share through other social media apps. It made me feel more confident about my safety while meeting a total stranger,” she said.

Brielle became part of the one in ten adults who’ve found their significant other online after she met her boyfriend, “I was lucky enough to find the love of my life on Tinder, so I’m indebted to the app.” 

Dating apps are polarizing but they’re not going away anytime soon. 

Fatigue is certainly real for many with the apps and a longing for authentic connection built through face-to-face interactions and shared hobbies. For those who feel disillusioned with the dating app promise of love being a swipe away, there are clubs and organizations around campus offering a real opportunity to find that special someone while engaging with your passions.