Sharing an ear for music

Brothers Sam and Luke Ronan share a deep and genuine connection with music at the heart of their relationship.

Sam, a professionally trained jazz pianist, always made sure to include Luke and their family in his musical journey. They attended every one of his recitals during his undergraduate years — a testament to the strong bond the siblings share.

As a recent graduate of Syracuse University and embarking on the challenges of launching his music career at age 22, Sam also takes on a significant caregiving role for his 20-year-old brother Luke, who has Down syndrome. Balancing this responsibility alongside their parents adds another layer of complexity to Sam’s life.

“I’ve always had to do more for Luke and getting him into school,” said Karen Ronan, Sam and Luke’s mother. The two brothers also have three older sisters. “I hoped Sam never felt neglected because of this. He didn’t have sisters to take over if I wasn’t there.”

Sitting at the family’s dining room table in Pittsford, Karen and Sam discussed the household dynamics especially since the three sisters moved out.

“I always felt thankful,” Sam said. “I had a lot of independence growing up.”

Sam admitted there are challenging moments that he and his family faces in caring for Luke.

“He can be very stubborn, wanting to stay up really late,” Sam said. “Every day is different, trying to get him to do what is best for the next day but having my parents manage their own time.

“When he really wants to do something that can take a lot of compromise or convincing.”

But Sam was quick to point to the many rewards brotherhood brings as well.

“The biggest thing it teaches you is empathy,” Sam said. “You’re not alone in your experiences, and it reminds you how to conduct yourself and be there for others.

“Taking care of Luke is a lesson in exercising compromise … uplifting his spirit to enjoy day to day better and the days with us better.”

After enduring the uncertainties of the COVID-19 pandemic, Luke decided to rekindle his own passion for drumming — a brave step forward and a testament to his determination to pursue his own dreams.

“He wanted to start his drum lessons practically when I moved back home. That makes me want to do more and be more productive and lean more into what I want to do. Me doing what I love to do allows me to share my joy and fulfillment with my family and it rubs off on him, too,” says Sam.

Every Wednesday when Sam isn’t working at Wegmans or the local school district as a substitute teacher, he drives Luke for 30-minute drumming lessons.

The music instructor, Vince Ercolamento, who is legally blind, was also Sam’s first-ever music teacher.

Each week, Luke brings in CDs from his favorite band Green Day to his lesson’s with Vince. When asked if CDs are common at lessons, Vince replied with a laugh, “Only Luke!”

Taking Luke to lessons is also a time for Sam to reconnect and catch up with his old instructor. They regularly embrace and talk for a few minutes after the lesson.

In the midst of their busy lives, the two brothers find solace in revisiting their shared childhood memories through old photographs. These moments serve as a reminder of the deep connection and love that binds them together.

Sam proudly boasted that his younger brother is far from sheltered and in fact, the complete opposite.

“Every time he recognizes someone he runs up and gives them a hug,” Sam said. “He’s the most outwardly social and has no social anxiety. That’s something that I’ve really had to work on and have been prone to all my life.”

And because of Luke’s outgoing nature around family and friends, Sam said his brother reminds him what it means to thrive in life.

“It simplifies my life objectives in a sense and helps me navigate my own relationships,” Sam said. “I see a lot of my own personality traits and things that I see in my parents I see in Luke.

“I think seeing how he navigates the world can help me manage myself.”